"She Grew Until She Died"

That's what I want on my tombstone. Morbid thought? Maybe. Life is great, but none if us is getting out alive, you know. Might as well write your own exit line. And that's gonna be mine.

At 41, I think I have to face that I am officially middle-aged. And whether or not we do anything about it, all of us (ALL OF US) go through a mid-life transition. (Notice I didn't call it a crisis.) During my transition, I have already made some pretty major life changes, some of them immensely positive, some of them quite painful, but all of it good stuff. I've grown and changed in ways I had never dreamed possible. One thing I'm sure of though...I'm nowhere near done yet.

I still need to do so much more.

I want to learn another language, at least conversationally, if not fluently. I would love to learn how to play an instrument (still deciding which one). I need to hike though Macchu Picchu, a rainforest or two, and Yosemite. I want to see the fruits of my creative efforts displayed in bookstores and art galleries. I still need to swim in the Great Barrier Reef. I look forward to holding a grandchild (perhaps). I absolutely MUST see the pyramids in Egypt. And I wouldn't mind riding an elephant and a camel at some point (someone please take my picture?). I have not been snow skiing or whale-watching yet. I've never been to the opera. I need to see Alaska and Hawaii, as well as many, many tropical islands (both in the Pacific and Caribbean, please). Oh! And I want to swim in bio-luminescent waters, at night, preferably with someone I love. (Yes, I'm talking to you, "Michael.")

By the time I take my last breath, I want to feel like I never wasted a second. I want my life to be an original work of art. In the process, I may piss some people off or disappoint others, but hey, it's my deathbed. Get your own.

No one is really sure what this life is really all about, or why we are here, or if we get more lifetimes, or eternity, or simply become nutrition for worms. We all have our beliefs (and I have mine), but none of us knows. What we do know is this: we have this life. Right now. And we can choose to float through it in some hypnotic stupor, eking out our days as if they'll never quit coming, letting each one be even more ordinary than the last. Or we can wake up, be here Now, and live a self-directed life of experience, learning, and growing.

If this isn't "all there is" (and I happen to think it's not), then why are we here? Deepak claims everyone has a purpose, and it's our job to discover that purpose for ourselves. I agree. But I also think on a larger, more general scale, all of us are here for two reasons: to learn, and to love. Anything else we do in this life should come down to one of those two. The rest is a big fat waste of time. Each of us leaves this world naked and alone, with no checked luggage or carry-on. All we get to take with us is what's in our hearts and our souls.

So make your list, find your purpose, keep learning, loving, and living. Grow until you die.

By the way, you can borrow my epitaph if you like, but if you do...make sure it's the truth.