Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Dream a Little Dream

I saw Inception last week... Wow.

I actually heard someone say that it was "good, but could have been so much better." Really? How's that? Short of pulling the audience into a three (or four) tiered shared dream with the characters, I don't see how it could have been any closer to perfection. I wish to hell I had written it. (And anytime I say that about a book or movie, it is the highest compliment I can give it.)

For those of you who haven't had a chance to see it yet, I won't ruin anything by commenting on any details. But the film has made me think more deeply about dreams since I saw it, so I think it's a good segue into a post on these mysterious, nocturnal phenomena.

I've always had very vivid dreams, and I almost always remember them. It's both a boon and a curse, as you can imagine. Like in the movie, I have had a couple of those dream-within-dream experiences. Freaked me right the hell out both times. I also have the privilege of "lucid dreaming." That's the level of consciousness that allows you to realize you are dreaming, and if you've ever had that experience, it's pretty freaking cool. The next step is to realize that if you are dreaming, you can attempt to control the dream. Need a gun? Picture it in your hand. Want to fly? Take off and start kicking. (Flying has always felt like "swimming in the air" in my dreams. I kick to remain airborne, and if I stop, I slowly float back down. No Superman-style zipping through the air for me. I'm usually vertical.)

So this may all be a lot of fun, but the question remains, why do we dream? Is it just the mind going haywire while we're sleeping? You hear people say all the time, "Oh, it was just a dream. It doesn't mean anything." Or do dreams have some significance, some symbolic meaning?

I think they do, indeed. But here's the tricky part: I believe only the dreamer can interpret his or her dream. See, the subconscious mind reveals itself through our dreams, so only we know what that huge snake represented in our nightmare, or why we couldn't see the face of our groom at the end of the aisle, or what the gasping goldfish in our pocket was trying to tell us.

Oh, I have had my share of the usual dreams: I'm naked in a high school classroom about to take a test I didn't study for; suddenly my teeth crumble and fall out, like pieces of chalk; I'm getting married in 15 minutes to someone I don't know and I have no dress to wear, so I'm shopping but everything is made of see-through chiffon and is size XL. (Wait...you don't have that one?)

But I also have had some really profound ones, too. I will share a dream I had years ago that taught me a lesson and changed my life. It's still clearly vivid even today... I was washing dishes and looking out the kitchen window, when I realized that the view was moving. Our house was somehow rolling down the street, down a hill, toward a large lake. I called out to my husband and children, but it was too late. The next thing I knew, we were in a sinking house. Then, we were underwater. I was desperately shoving the kids out the window and directing them to swim up to safety. I watched them make their way up toward the light at the water's surface. They made it! Then I turned toward my husband. The house was now gone, and we were at the bottom of the lake. I reached out to him, begging him to take my hand. But he was slipping backward, toward a deep, dark crevasse in the lake floor. Half his body was already in. I grabbed his hand and pulled, but instead of helping him out, I was being pulled in with him. I kept trying...wouldn't give up. Then I awoke.

What did it mean? Well, I think I can tell you. My now ex-husband has always struggled with depression. When I married him, I was sure a Miss Pollyanna Sunshine like me could cheer him up and we'd go through life wearing our matching rose-colored glasses. But I now know (through my reading and through life experiences) that the opposite usually happens. When a depressed person and a happy person hook up, the balloon doesn't lift up the anvil. The anvil grounds the balloon.

I couldn't pull him out of the crevasse. I had to give up, or I would drown.

It was one step in the long process of accepting that I needed to end my marriage, but that dream helped me forgive myself for not being able to help him. God knows I tried (and he will tell you that), but only he can pull himself out. So, I untied my balloon, and let it float free again.

If we are open to listening to our dreams, they can really tell us a lot. If you (like many people) can't recall your dreams, then get a notebook to keep by your bedside. Jot phrases down and return to them later when you are more awake. Or just spend a couple minutes first thing in the morning trying to recall the last dream you had, before it slips away for good as your regain wakeful consciousness. Those first moments are crucial, when you are still between the dream and your wakeful reality. Listen to them. Don't dismiss them as silly and meaningless. Use them as a method of self-discovery and spiritual growth. What are your dreams trying to teach you?

Like the immortal bard says:

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Sweet dreams...

4 comments:

  1. I saw that movie, and absolutely loved it! I really enjoyed the whole concept of time slowing down in a dream, so that in each sub-layer scenario, they were given more time to do things. I've always had EXTREMELY vivid dreams, I have them almost every single night, and I always remember them. For a period of about 6 months when I was back in college I would have dreams where I would wake up and start going about my normal day, when suddenly something strange or out of place would happen and I would realize I was dreaming and jolt awake. So again, I would get up, go about my day, and something strange would happen...and so on and so on. There were times when I would wake up and not know if I was awake or still dreaming. I would have do something crazy to test it, like jump out a window, or stab myself with scissors, (those ideas only came to me when I was still dreaming) and for 6 months I was afraid I was accidentally going to kill myself. I tell people this story and now everyone thinks I'm just copying the movie, but my college roommates can confirm that I would wake up freaked out by my brain's nightly activity for about 6 months during my senior year.

    Now I know you said only we can interpret what our dreams mean, but as far as I could figure the only thing those dreams meant was I needed a psychiatrist. You tell me...what do you think that meant?

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  2. Only you can say what that meant. But I'm glad to know you worked through it before the USMC started letting you fly their aircraft. :)

    I would assume you were both sleep and food deprived during that time, and the Naval Academy probably ran your life for you. It's no wonder you had sleep disturbances.

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  3. I haven't seen that movie but I did what you wrote about. I started becoming more aware of my dreams. Each morning when I wake up I just think about what I was dreaming and the dream comes to me. I think it's a really good idea to become aware of your dreams and to try and make sense of them.

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  4. I think there are many layers of dreams and wakefulness. When you are startled awake in the middle of the night, you may still be stuck in the primordial stages with your dreams just a swarm of images that may or may not strike you (or anyone else) as full of portent. But they can make good source material for poems.

    When you are on verge of waking, your dreams become more lucid. For me, the dreams that start up out of the ooze can morph several times over until they reach the lucid stage, picking up new situations and props and dramatis personae along the way. When I write down the dreams in the lucid stage, I always find myself tinkering here and there and ending up with (usually funny) flash fiction.

    Of course there is a percentage-wakefulness after you get out of bed, too, with layers of consciousness reaching all the way up to enlightenment. But Shakespeare was right--dreams are what round your life off and are at the core of a person. To dream is to grow, to self-heal, and to be.

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