The Sound of Silence

Since I can't afford an actual spiritual retreat right now, earlier this year I tried to devote an entire weekend to complete silence--no communication of any kind with anyone else. For those of you who know me personally, I will pause now for you to finish your hysterical laughter....

Done? Okay. No, I didn't make it. Mainly because all this "stuff" came up that drew me away from the purpose of the weekend. (A very good friend's birthday party, for example.) I guess maybe I chose a bad weekend. But honestly, I didn't make it even for a few hours before I was talking to my cats about how hard this was. Oops...My daughter has pointed out that I "talk" myself through basic routine activities, like driving, paying bills, cooking, and shopping. I will say things like, "Well, I thought I paid that bill last week." "Why must people get in this lane and go so slowly?" "I guess we're out of Smart Balance, so I'm gonna have to use butter." "Oh my God. If I buy two of these tops WITH my coupon, I'll get them for like, fifteen apiece!"

"Who are you talking to?" she'll ask me.

"Um, I dunno. I guess you," is always my response.

"Well, I'm not listening." She is such a delightful child, really.

Truth is, I'm not entirely sure I AM talking to her. I'm just glad she's present so that I don't look too insane. I have always known I am very verbal, which was awesome when I took the SAT's, but now I wonder if I should learn to drink a nice big cup of Shut the Hell Up and Listen.

I need more silence in my life. Did you ever do this? You're feeling really stressed out, and there seems to be too much noise in the room, too much commotion, so you reach for the remote control and flip off the television, blaring it's obnoxious commercials in the background. Suddenly the room is serenely quiet and you involuntarily sigh with relief.

I need that.

Of course, I don't have television, so I'm speaking metaphorically here. But I need more silence in my life. When I got up this morning, the only sound I could hear was the symphony of birds outside my window. I noticed the little silences between their chirps. Artists would call that the negative space. The part of a painting that isn't subject matter. The visual silence. And those silences are there, in our lives, but we don't notice them. Eckhart Tolle says, "Even during a conversation, become conscious of the gaps between words, the brief silent intervals between sentences. As you do that, the dimension of stillness grows within you."

Deepak Chopra also touts the value of silence in our spiritual vitality. In The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, he writes, "Practicing silence means making a commitment to take a certain amount of time to simply Be." He adds, "If you never give yourself the opportunity to experience silence, this creates turbulence in your internal dialogue."

Perhaps it's that turbulence that keeps me chattering to no one in particular. I know that I process information through verbalization, and that unlike a lot of people who are more spatial than I am, I actually think in sentences. Most of you probably think in terms of images, emotions, memories, or thoughts, I would bet. I have those too, but mostly my head is full of dialogue. And I'm thinking if I don't get it under control, I may end up pushing a shopping cart full of junk through the city and muttering to myself. I mean, I'm already talking to cats in a pinch.

So here's my project for this week. Try it if you like. Every morning, I plan to experience twenty minutes of silence when I first wake up. This is different from meditation, where I sit still, eyes closed, and try to shut up my mind. This is me, walking around and doing whatever, making coffee, staring out the window, washing dishes, taking a walk, whatever. But in silence. No speech at all. Not even to the cats.

This week, let's all calm the turbulence in our inner dialogue. Let's look for the silent intervals between sentences, the gaps between words, the silences between chirps, and let's grow the dimension of stillness within ourselves.

There are already enough crazy cat ladies on the planet.